Milk, Mayonnaise and Strawberry: Dispatches from Final Day of No Baseball
This second day of the most boring time of the year produced one of the most entertaining things to involve J.A. Happ in the history of the universe.
Kristina Rutherford of Sportsnet does this series of casual interviews with the Blue Jays that are amusing and often rather sweet. Her interviews reveal little tidbits about these guys as people. (It's kind of what I would do if I had access to them.)
Rutherford's discussion with J.A. Happ eventually turns to what he finds confusing about living in Canada. The answer is this:
Given how ubiquitous bagged milk was in my childhood (as well as the various accessories that go with it), I often forget that it's a uniquely Canadian thing. It's not even in all of Canada- Ontario, Quebec and the Maritimes have it but not Western Canada.
However, for many people, this is basically a form of witchcraft. The consternation bagged milk inspires in Happ is hilarious.
Before yesterday, I never really knew why the milk was in bags, but it's actually kind of genius.
(It also comes with 1.33 L bags. The one L bags are new-ish and kind of controversial. No one tell Happ. He'll cry.)
It's also easier to store and easier to lift. You get more milk that takes up less space in your fridge.
The best part comes next when Rutherford points out that one needs to use a jug to pour the milk. Happ then begins to ask some existential questions:
Did Happ think we just have the bags hanging around, poke at them to get the milk and get milk all over the place and we're all just "Yeah, great. This works." It's an awesome concept.
I also enjoy the idea of Happ standing in front of the milk section of his grocery store, looking confused and rubbing his head.
"I don't get what I can do with this thing. "
Rutherford ends the interview with offering to bring him a jug for his bagged milk. I suggest she throw one of these in with the jug to really blow his mind.
See this Instagram photo by @nigeliciouss * 215 likes
Vice Sports published a piece that featured the executive chef of the Toronto Blue Jays. Nigel Batson also revealed some of the things the players like to eat. Josh Donaldson is basically a five year old when it comes to his pre-game meals.
No word on whether or not the 2% comes from a bag.
Batson drops a little bomb at the end of the video. One of the players once asked for maynonnaise to put on his penne/basil/tomato concoction. Naturally, that made Batson pause. As one should.
Apparently, this is a thing. There are recipes.
People on Jays Twitter started speculating immediately who exactly does this. Mayonnaise is one of those comfort condiments that people tend to abuse.
Mostly I'm offended that the dude referred to this as his "alfredo sauce." It's fine to be a weirdo with your food choices, but there is no reason to besmirch alfredo.
Finally, ESPN 30 for 30 aired "Doc & Darryl", which chronicles the complicated careers of two of the biggest stars in Mets history: Doc Gooden and Darryl Strawberry.
Co-directed by Judd Apatow, the film shows how both men burst on the scene in the 80s, but flamed out soon after in their struggles with drugs and alcohol and what that meant for the Mets of the 1980s.
Other than the Blue Jays, the Mets were probably the baseball team I remember the most from my childhood.
I have specific memories of this:
And Darryl Strawberry was perfect in this:
It plays in perfectly to the idea Apatow puts forward in his interview that a lot of athletes are actually very funny.
"No hustle either, Skip." is timeless.