How to Not Be Trash: Jays Pound Orioles.

This was amazing. 

Don'ts

1. Don't throw behind a player. Some people think it's because it's "disrespectful" (as if a plunking could be respectful) but no, it's actually dangerous. Throwing behind the shoulders and back is bad because it's the batter's natural instinct to duck backwards if they aren't sure where it's going and they lean right into it.

A pitch behind the back is very close to a pitch at the head (a genuine beaning) and there is no way anyone should condone that ever.

2. Don't throw behind a player that you threw behind earlier in the month. Especially when that player went large on your pitcher in that same AB.

3. Don't complain and bitch at a player for admiring a homer after you have thrown behind his back for the second time. One, because what he did is hard to do. Two, he's been thrown behind, twice. He got you. Wear it. Three, he's in his own damn ballpark. He can do what he wants.

4. Don't ever say "You pimp the pitcher, you’re pimping me too." to the media post game after you've acted like an idiot mid-game and tried to police people.

5. Don't ask a rookie to throw behind a star player. Just don't. It's a pretty bad idea to have anyone throw at anyone, but this just feels extra cheap. And then don't hide behind the fact that the kid is a rookie, particularly when you said,

"Let’s face it, he’s 23 years old, emotional, you see him coming off the mound doing his little whatever, [...] I’m sure the league office will do what needs to be done. If you don’t have the command to throw the ball where you’re supposed to to deliver a message, then you shouldn’t be throwing at all there. It really pushed the hot button with all of us because it certainly wasn’t called for. That was obvious. It was borderline professionally embarrassing."

after Marcus Stroman threw at Caleb Joseph last season.

There are people who think Garcia didn't have intent. Garcia is the perfect person to ask. He'll do whatever you ask because he wants to impress and you can hide behind him being a kid with poor command.  Perfect person to ask if you are trash, that is.

Do's

1. Do be focused enough to actually hit a homer when you are angry, especially if you are awesome. Your awesomeness is now undeniable.

2.  After you cross home plate, do stare intently into the dugout at the opposing manager, from which all this nonsense originates.

3. Do remind opposing star player that you were thrown behind, with elaborate gestures.

4. Do star in amazing GIFs that feature your stupendous mad face, your towering homer and your potty mouth as you round the bases.

5. Do  do things that encourage Danny Valencia to yell, "God damn, I love this!" in the dugout.

6. Do offer choice post-game quotes:

"I'm an emotional player, I play with a lot of passion. You throw at me and I'm not going to forget and if I get you right after I'm going to enjoy it and I did. I have no regrets about it."

"I don't understand why they keep throwing behind us and hitting us. Ryan Goins got hit today, all of a sudden. The guy is painting and hitting his spots, and then all of a sudden one fastball gets away and hits him square in the thigh, nowhere near the strike zone. For a team that complains and whines so much about when their guys get pitched inside, they should manage their pitching a little bit better." -- Bautista 

That's damn right, Joey Bats.