I Got a Rocket in My Pocket


It's been a while. As I'm almost finished gorging myself on a tin of Quality Street, I figured it's time to shake off the holiday stupor and actually address some issues.

Happy New Year. I hope the holiday season was at least tolerable and trending towards awesome.

I hope Mark Buehrle decorated his dogs.


I had a few half thought out posts in the last month or so. One was addressing Melky Cabrera being signed by the White Sox. I've come to terms with it, but I was a little salty about it at the time.



So I’m one of those “Saunders trade is great and all, but sign Melky” people. I discussed this over Twitter and I got lectured by dudes. A lot. You may look down on me as someone who doesn’t believe in numbers or something. You might lump me in with some that are sort of dumb on “Not Drunk Jays Fans” but I don’t really care. 

I wanted Melky Cabrera in the lineup. Hitting second, between the Josés. They had a good thing going there offensively last season before Melky was injured. I don’t believe in just substituting Player X for Player Y- as they actually have to play the games. I like that Melky is a switch hitter. I like that he’s a professional hitter, one that just knows what he’s doing. I like that he said he wanted to play in Toronto, to stay, because they gave him a shot after his drug suspension. Loyalty means something to me, as cheesy as that may sound to some of you.  

Seeing that Cabrera only signed a three year deal with the White Sox after all the Jays writers tapped their keyboards like crazy saying that he’d only go for a five year deal made me roll my eyes. I wanted depth and to spend some cash to keep some depth. I’ve never understood the obsession some have with the payroll, other than maybe thinking about it makes certain fans feel like they are somehow involved. 

Everyone who says “Oh, they have enough” can shut up. Stack the lineup. Make it a lineup that allows for no breaks for pitchers. Depth was a major issue last year and the Jays have not done much (yet) to address it. They need another starter. They need a second baseman. They need bullpen arms. 

Saunders might work out just fine in left field. He’ll probably hit better in the Rogers Centre. He is better defensively than Melky, but left field is never really a defensive superpower position. Saunders is hurt a lot and has had similar issues to Brett Lawrie in staying healthy. I really hope Saunders makes Seattle’s GM eat crow.  It always bothers me when GMs publicly question a player's work ethic in the media. It's déclassé. Tony LaRussa doing that to my favourite Scott Rolen was basically the end of any sort of respect I had for LaRussa. 

WAR is great, but it's not a crystal ball. No one has a crystal ball. So stop lecturing me like you do. 

See? Salty. And I wrote in French. 

Moving on. Randy Johnson, John Smoltz, Craig Biggio and Pedro Martinez were all elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. 

I suspect the hat situation will break down like this:

Smoltz- Braves. Maddux + Glavine + Smoltz = Braves in the 90s. No doubt. 

Biggio- Astros (it would be odd otherwise, as he only played for the Astros. Speaking of the Astros, Lana Berry wrote about an Astros event for women that sounds terribly awesome. It's from 2013, but it's depressingly still relevant. )

Johnson is a little more complicated. He probably had his best years with the Diamondbacks and won the World Series with them, but a lot of people associate him with Seattle. I mostly associate him with being really tall, killing that bird and then hilariously making a dead bird the logo for his photography project. Johnson's work is really beautiful, by the way. 

And Pedro Martinez is going to be wearing a Red Sox hat. Martinez remains one of the most interesting people ever to play the game and I think his speech is going to be epic. When Pedro started broadcasting last year, I wondered why it took so long for it to happen. 

Jonah Keri did an epic podcast with Pedro last summer. 



The early aughts were good baseball times. I mean, when was the last time an old guy was tossed in a playoff game?



And because he played in New England, Pedro also did commercials with guys in lobster suits.



John McDonald announced his retirement from baseball today and I got a little emotional. The guy is just the best. I used to love how Roy Halladay used to request JMac for his starts. I think about that whenever that random dude on Twitter tells me that pitchers can't induce double plays.

I once had a disagreement with someone over Twitter about JMac. This person was not a fan. And that is basically all you need to know about that person. It's an asshole litmus test.

   

 Many shared this video about the Father's Day homer, which is magic. Absolute magic.


           

 “We had talked about the type of player I am before I came back, the fact that I don’t hit a lot of home runs,” McDonald recalled, his voice quivering. “He said, ‘Hit your next one for me.’ “ 


My heart. 




The reaction is perfect. It's outrage about playing the game the "right way"- not in the way the media uses it that only seems to apply to white dudes, but outrage at one of the best players ever to play the game resorting to ridiculousness. That face is the face of outrage towards complete bullshit.

John McDonald took the gifts he had and perfected them to a point that, despite the flaws in his game, baseball simply couldn't deny him.


Finally, Dalton Pompey had an earworm that proved he is actually truly Canadian. He had a song in his head- he described "mmmm" sounds and that it sounded like a Puffy/Mase song from the late 90s.

I tried- I recognized the gist of it from his Vine.
Most of us were useless. Someone finally guessed it. I heard this song so often in late high school. It doesn't sound like Puff Daddy at all, Dalton.

It's Saukrates, kid. It's pure Toronto in 2000.


You frontin' like I ain't 'bout to knock it.