"Hey Lexi, I love you, but I ain't American League no more."

Alex Rios put on quite a show last night at the Home Run Derby. It is a completely dumb event, I kept thinking "Hey! That's a ground rule double! That one's a solid triple" but Rios, sole Jay representative at the All-Star game, made it exciting. 5 in the first round, an amazing 12 in the second, but out of gas for only 2 in the final. But he did hit more than all the others (including Howard, Pujols, Fielder and champ Guererro). Former Jay Orlando Hudson was mic'd up and was calling to Rios all night. I knew he was yelling stuff because Lexi kept looking over and smiling. I think Vlad, who amazingly still doesn't speak English, won on brut strength.

I had a feeling Rios would be right in it because I have heard he puts on a show in batting practice and he has such a pretty, smooth swing. It used to be a mystery why he could do it in bp and not in games.

And to all the little snotty bitches (from the internet and from the American mainstream media) who were like "Who the f is Alex Rios? Who cares about him? He's a gap hitter with 45 career homeruns, it's a joke he's included", enjoy your crow.