Roy Halladay's Appendix doesn't want to play for the Jays anymore
It sounds very painful and also really gross (mucus blockages, bacteria). Doc insists it doesn't have anything to do with his ass-bad performances in his last two starts, but it would be alright if it did. I'd forgive you, Roy.
Now some good news. AJ Burmett cut his hair! Tired of looking like some sort of crazed hillbilly, he finally cut it all off.
He also won the ballgame 5-1. The lone run was a homerun ball which curiously yelled "FUCK!" as it left the park. Jason Phillips hit a two-run double and Alex Rios hit a homerun. Maybe AJ will become a grownup and lead this staff while his hero is down. Wouldn't that impress the Doctor? 10Ks are nice too. Casey Janssen and Jeremy Accardo (with a strut) closed it down.
Because there just weren't enough injuries, Troy Glaus had to leave the game in the first, hobbling. There should be a fund set up for leg transplants for him. So on the DL- BJ,Zaun,Doc, Reed, Victor Z, Gus and Brandon League.