To Me, You've Always Been Perfect


Brett Cecil, who I now call 'Cec' (pronounced like cease in cease and desist) pitched himself a dandy of a game to get his 5th win of the season. Quite a lot of chuck in your hum today, Cec.

Lyle Overbay demonstrated why we haven't added feathers to the tar. And Vernon Wells prompted one of the most amusing emotional flip flops I have seen in a while. Game tied, Cito comes over and gives the customary day is done handshake. Cec gets a little pissy, and throws his chew to the ground disgustedly. Vernon Wells takes a hanging breaking ball and introduces it to the Level of Excellence. Cec, now all smiles, while Bruce Walton comes over to make fun of his petulant ass.

There is a certain level of hilarity in baseball. That was illustrated in a LA vs Seattle game. Kendry Morales hits a beautiful walk off grand slam. And then gets injured in the celebratory pile up. ETA- Apparently, Morales broke his leg. Handshakes now, boys. Or just spank each other.

There is a certain level of extreme danger in baseball. That was illustrated in New York when Alex Rodriguez drilled a line drive off of the Indians' David Huff. It was ugly and it was scary. Show Pony trotted over, very concerned. Huff never lost consciousness, was taken to the hospital and has a golf ball shaped souvenir on his temple.

What else happened? Let me think. Oh, just this....

ROY HALLADAY PITCHED A PERFECT GAME. It was beautiful, and so well deserved. But it is really just a reminder that we had the best pitcher in baseball on our side. He pitched many games just as beautiful. I watched him 1 hit the Yankees in person.last September. Halladay has been perfect for most of the past decade. Only now everybody knows it. Best pitcher in baseball. Signed, sealed, delivered.


When DJF Links to You


It's time to update.

The Sox are surging and are now getting all with the lip. There is a dude on the ESPN message board telling Tampa to enjoy their time at the top now, because the Red Sox are coming. It's so cute, like they are going to take the Yankees, let alone Tampa. Tampa is younger and faster, and a hell of a lot better looking. And I loved Carl Crawford yelling at the ump for that very obvious bullshit strike call. It was a bit down but very away. "He was just like, 'That's a good pitch.' I'm thinking to myself, if the plate is in the other batter's box, then it's a good pitch."

Hey family and friends of Ricky Romero? I know you are proud of your boy, but if you are going to come to the game, please don't come in a group of 200, wearing Jays jerseys, all sit together and stare at him. Probably don't even tell him you're coming. Cause that sort of behaviour caused little Ricky to shit the bed, in the baseball way, last night. Rushing, balls up, jitters, yips, gloved f-bombs, the works. It was not hot. As was EE's work at 3rd base.

Joey Bats (yeah, I'm calling him that) looks so damn loose at the plate. He leads the AL in home runs.

ESPN gives our boys some lovin'. Saying that all the "Jays are going to wither and die right away because Roy Halladay no longer plays for them" was wrong. I'm not sure we are saying "Roy who?", cause hitting six homers and still losing is not much fun, but there is a lot of quality left here.

April, May and Me

Vernon is flexing his muscle at the endlessly amusing Orlando Hudson. Welcome back, Doggie.

That was an excellent counter-pounding, boys. The Twins and their big bats hurt little Dana Eveland, and the Jays turn around and violate Carl Pavano right back. E5, Vernon, Lyle, Aaron- homeruns for all!!!!

I was especially happy to see Lyle Overbay rebound after the brutal night at the office on Monday night. And Shaun Marcum is a 89 mph fastball throwing stud. Yeah, I said it. For those keeping score:

Marcum-Chucker, close to Master Chucker. Stud Chucker.
Romero-Hummer, bordering on Hum and Chucker on good days. His Chuck is a bit wild. Manage your Chuck.
Morrow-Hummer...sigh, hummer. But maybe some Chuck in his future.
Eveland- not enough of either, but I'm hoping for him.
Cecil- Hummer, glimpses of Chuck. Let's have more Chuck. The glasses help, for some reason. Add some Chuck to your changeup.

Feel free to print this off, Bruce Walton.

When the Red Sox suffer, things get damn amusing. On Monday, the Red Sox lit up Yankees starter Phil Hughes but Jonathon "why are you making a cat-ass with your mouth?" Papelbon surrendered the lead and the win. And lo, it got amusing.

I haven't visited SOSH very much this season because our boys insist of losing to them. But apparently, the Jays are the only team the Sox can beat. Let's gauge the suicide watch.

Even the thread titles are great "When is Lowell going to request his release?", "Why do our fielders keep running into each other?" and "April hates Beckett, and so does May." April, May and me.

"It's almost 1am and I am still trying to shake this one off. We get the hitting back, and the closer falls apart. Why can't we catch a break?"

Yes, sucking and yet hovering at .500 is a burden.

"I just want to thank the boys for sucking craptastically at the beginning of the season so that I don't have to waste the whole summer watching the games and trying to recover from gutpunch after gutpunch. Great run prevention guys."

Run a warm bath....

"Paps was a little cranky during his post game interview. Maybe he was on the rag and the cramps affected his location."

Get some fresh towels....

"On really good teams, a different person steps up every game to help the team win. On this year's Sox team, a different person fucks them over every game. "

Sharpen the razorblades...

And then the thread devolved into their "girlfriends" and imaginary oral sex while she wears Jeter's jersey, and I had to get the hell away from that. Not the type of visual I need.

The never melodramatic Dan Shaughnessy, in an article titled "Another Round of Torture in the Bronx" writes, "Underachieving. The opposite of clutch. Hard to watch. Not worthy of the love of the legions back home."

Nah, I'd say this version of the Sox are exactly what the legions deserve.

We Messed with Texas


Ricky Romero did the best thing one can do after a struggling start. He completely owned. After the clusterfuck that was Friday night pitching, Romero pitched his first complete game shut out. I hope he becomes a star, not just because it's good for the team, but because I can take credit for it because I gave him that stellar pep talk last summer. The one he laughed at.


Romero succeeding often brings up JP's drafting of him over Tulowitski.


The reason it was so frustrating, let's use that word, for some in the Tulo/Ricky draft was that short stop had been a gaping hole in the organization for a long time. JP had drafted Russ Adams (with Jon Lester on the table), and left Tulowitski on the table a few drafts later. Tulo was ready for primetime before Ricky, and was a big league short stop when the position here was still up in the air. I'm not saying it as a bad idea or that it was a mistake, but just a speculation on a different path. A woulda, shoulda, coulda.


Following Romero's lead, Brandon Morrow and his big time arm found enough stability to pitch effectively for 6+ innings. And winning when the pitching gives up more hits than their opponent means the golden horse shoe is well implanted.