Farewell, Troy

So the physicals were passed and now it is but the details needing ironing out before Troy changes the colour of his feathers from blue to red. Auf Wiedersehen! Thanks for volunteering to play shortstop, for those towering moonshots and for all the hobbling around. Sorry that I found you less attractive than Lexi, Peaches and Hill and God help me, AJ. He is sex on legs when he is on, which is, give or take, 50% of the time.


Here's Jeff Blair's quote from his blog (about Troy, not my ill-advised AJ fixation):

"Not too many big-time Major Leaguers with a World Series MVP award on their resume would volunteer to play a position they hadn't manned since college since (trust me) few of them would like to risk looking like a doofus on the field. Glaus could be a pain in the ass to deal with - at best he was a grumpy old man - and he could treat a two-minute interview like root canal surgery but he'd also answer questions and was by and large a stand-up guy. There's nothing wrong with being a challenging interview."

And I second the Tao's whooping for finally having something to write about besides the size of Clemens' ass. Pitchers and catchers report in 30 days.

To file under WTF? Apparently an Albany based investigation into performance enhancing drugs have named 50-Cent, Tyler Perry, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and Mary J. Blige as users/receivers of steroids and HGH. Now Fiddy is built and Timbo looks like a barrell with arms, but Mary J. Blige?!?!? You promised me no more drama!!!!

Back in Blue

Well, I arrived home Wednesday night and Vernon Wells greeted me with a game-winning homerun (after being in a "coma", according to my father) which I slept through because of jet-lag. During my three-week sojourn in the land of DiMaggio, the boys did awesome things (sweep of Seattle, but my dad said that was like kicking a corpse) and sort of mediocre to crappy things (Doc losing his cool two nights ago after a bad call and giving up a whack of runs). So, in short, they played like the 2007 Toronto Blue Jays.

And now, Troy Glaus is being accused by SI of ordering steroids from 2003-2004. Don't they usually use it for injury repair and if he used them, wouldn't he now not move around like an 85 year-old? Just sayin'.

This weekend...

These dudeshosted these punks

who lost in a walkoff on Friday.

Dodgers 4- Jays 3

Then, this sucker

gave up only 4 hits but one was a HR by this hoser

who also tried to take pizza from a kid in the stands.

Dodgers 0 Jays 1

Then this fellowseriously outpitched this chumpHe was totally helped out by these rascalsamong others. He had a rough first, but settled down and got two hits of his own.

Dodgers 5 Jays 11

The series made Nomar do this San Fran Ho! Hola, Bengie!

Oh, and Eeyore got tossed in the 1st inning for plunking Renteiria on Sunday Night Baseball. For a quiet guy, he is quite the little shit disturber.

TROY!

Jays 5 Orioles 3

The one they call Troy, with his sore heel and his inability to bend over, went 2-for-4 with 3 rbis. A game tying single (situational hitting) and then a game winning two-run HR (power hitting) in the 8th. He then seemed to giggle for the rest of the game.