Sitting here, watching Josh Hamilton put on a show, I'm thinking maybe I should give up hard drugs and find Jesus, too.

Alex "Hola Alex" Rios became a father over the weekend. Yes, it seemed for a while that we were all going to have to pay because Rios knocked up his girlfriend nine months ago. As discussed on the Tao of Steib, Brandy Halladay would've held on until the All-Star break and collected canned goods. Anyway, ¡bienvenida Alessandra!

During home games, the Gardiner Express Way is a stupid way to travel. My poor, unfortunate sister-in-law to be, works in Missisauga but lives in Toronto, was stuck in an b.o. infused GO Bus, sitting near a guy who loudly talked to his "mommy" for two hours. So she missed Roy Halladay turn water into wine against Joba and the rest of the Yankees. Derek Jeter called him the best pitcher in baseball, but Terry Francona cares nothing for Jeter's opinion. "There's a lot of pitchers having outstanding years," Francona said, "and none measured up to Cliff." Oh, please, Tito. Doc deserves it, because he has had a totally awesome year and also because he missed out on it when he was Menched. Remember in 2005, Tito was going to pick him?

On Saturday, Jesse Litsch was pink and round...and that's about it. The less said, the better.

And then AJ wormed his way back into my heart , perhaps for the last time. Holy shit, that was nails. The K's, the near-shut out, the roaring fist pump, the 'fuck you" from Jorge, the non-sarcastic hat tip, the dug out "I will always love yooooouuuuuu" hugs. Does this not seem like the shortest "5-year deal" ever? He was electric.

The ESPN guys are creaming their pants over Hamilton and his story. One of them actually said, "it's a lousy night to be an atheist". Not so much for the little girl in the Texas helmet whose Boys and Girls Club is in line to get 50,000 bucks for her club.

Well, Morneau won it. Nice work, Justin! You made the little girl cry. Her club will suck now.